February 2, 2012

Time to start anew

An unpublished post from a month ago....

This whole week, I've been in an out-of-body-like state. I go to class mindlessly, zoning in and out of reality? not so sure. Everything seems so bland to me. Nothing quite sparks my interest anymore, nothing to look forward to. I need a new feeling of wholeness in my life, but I don't know where to find it. Whenever I'm alone, which is most of the time, I've realized that I feel a sense of security, probably because it is when I'm most relaxed. I don't have to constantly worry about what others think of me. At times I find myself if moments of clarity or that everything coming at me just seems so real and raw.
And my draft ends here. Rereading this, I find it silly but rather gloomy. Actually I've reread many of my posts months after I post them and I edit them sometimes. In doing this, it gives me a chance to reflect upon myself. Since I am no longer affected by the emotions of my previous state, I can then proceed to analyze why in fact I felt that way. Because I recently watched a chinese drama, I will finish the rest of this post in chinese, lol randomness. 我所看到的都一点都不像我的风格。现在的我对人身的看法也变了,看得比较乐观。我比以前有根多信心去面对困难。想要的东西就要努力的竞取。说道这,或则我将来看到这个post也会觉得我以前很傻。但,我一直没变地觉得, 只要我每天一步一步的往前走,我的日子就会越来越美好。
p.s. The way I speak in chinese is quite weird indeed. Don't worry, I'm working on it :]

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
-Dr. Seuss